


Our destiny

by dresoria



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: But when it burns it really does, Eventual Smut, Friendship, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Loss, Other, Pain, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sacrifice, Slow Burn-ish, Spicy ramen, Swearing, Will add more later who knows yet, You're never giving up on him, you're gonna bring him back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-09-22 15:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dresoria/pseuds/dresoria
Summary: Sometimes people stray to different paths than what they had in mind for themselves, you learned that the hard way when you lost everything you've worked for and loved. With him around, it somehow seems easier to cope, easier to live on, but at what cost, and for how long?





	1. Rough beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I could barely sleep last night I wanted to start writing this so bad, because apparently I love making myself cry

The tranquil humming of machinery and the blazing orange of the morning sky, as if everything was just the same as ever before, told about the break of a new day, and a new, well-deserved age, a peaceful equilibrium, which -who knows would last for how long, it didn't matter- everyone was hoping for. The traveler floated ever silently above the Last City, and it made you wonder quite a few times, how long has it done so, what wonders has it seen, if it's as ancient as existence itself, nobody truly knows.

The drilling sound of endless gunfire was over but for you, the war never ended. It never did, and it never could, not as long as you were still alive and the others were not. All was lost before it even began, and all just to save you, because of some idiotic "one of us has to survive" mindset and utter recklessness; you lost everything but your life. Every day you woke up, stared outside through the window by your bed, so you would not miss a single glimpse of anything happening in the vastness of the sky, as if you were waiting for something terrible to happen, right until the moment it was too dark to perceive anything, at which point you impatiently and anxiously awaited the next morning. Days went by both incredibly fast and excruciatingly slow, and people have learned not to bother you by now, you weren't expecting visitors. It was a tragedy, you knew it, and everyone in the Tower knew it as well, they were all mourning for the most part, but as days went by, everyone went back to their usual business as if nothing happened and that was unacceptable to you.

Many, many good, incredibly trustworthy and talented guardians were lost in the Red War, too many of them to count. The grief of loss was unbearable, as if your chest was torn open, just enough to keep you from dying but not enough to make you not wish you were dead, and as if tiny needles and knives were prickled through your exposed heart ever so slightly, each needle pushing the other deeper and deeper in, until all you can feel is despair. That included your fireteam, all of it... except for you, the agile hunter, the merciless assassin, the notorious nightstalker, and any other worthless title you could adress yourself as. You were in a really bad position when the Red Legion attacked, partially your fault for not convincing your fireteam to retreat fast enough. You were all in pain, the ammo was scarce, but you pulled through for as long as it was physically possible, you did all you could, but you weren't enough- you kept telling yourself. There was no time to recover, no time to spare, you had to make every shot count, every cut with your knife, every grenade. It all went to shit regardless of that, you were stuck and all four of you knew this was going to be the end if you do not get past the legion barricading your way, so in the end, a decision was made, one you were so terribly against; you had to leave someone behind to distract the enemies while you threw a smoke bomb at the rest of the fireteam, so the three of you can sneak ahead and find a way out of this terrible situation.

_"I believe in you, chief. Lead us to victory, I'm counting on you, let's make those bastards regret ever coming here."_

Your titan's voice rang in your head, over and over again; you knew it was suicide, but you've been through hell together, you didn't expect this to be the last thing you'd hear him say. He was the first. Then one of the warlocks, similiarly sacrificing himself meaninglessly, as if his life didn't matter. So young and he threw it away.

_"Thank you for all the adventures, chief, I think I'll handle this alone for now. See you at the end of the road, hurry."_

You were getting close but still not close enough, you had to win yourself some time, but it was nearly impossible. Your other warlock looked at you, determined; being one of Ikora's best students, a master of the art of war, she knew she had the power and the ability to take this swarm of enemies by herself, she nodded to you.

_"This might be my last day but I'll make sure it's their last too. I'm glad I could be part of your fireteam, carry on, chief."_

You tethered the enemy force together with a barrage of shadow anchors, a final attempt to help your friend and keep her safe, but you had no time to spare; you disappeared into the shadows and ran for it like a coward, hoping you'll meet reinforcements, commander Zavala, or anyone familiar on the way, but in the end all you saw was an endless surge of enemy forces you had to cut your way through... then it happened. The light suddenly went out, as if everything was over in a split second. Your chest tightened, you could barely breathe, and you just weeped, shooting the last of your bullets in a crazed frenzy with tears streaming down your face. You ran past the enemies' corpses as fast as your legs could carry you, lightly grabbing your ghost in an attempt to wake him up, but to no avail, you were completely alone in a world facing destruction, and you were just terribly determined to find whoever was responsible for this and put an end to them. You, at that moment, were ready to give up that one life you had left, after all, you were in too much pain for it to matter anymore, if only you could win this war at the price of your sacrifice so no one other would have to die, but to your dismay, things chose to happen differently. He was far too powerful for a lightless mortal to handle, let alone defeat; you were picked up like a weightless flea and thrown down the side of the Tower to your probable demise. If only you were so lucky; fate had different plans for you that day, that life.

It's been weeks if not months since the incident, but to you it felt like it was mere seconds ago; you've been locked inside your quarters eversince you got out of the Farm, in house arrest, if you will, not that you had the will to go anywhere anyway. That terrible day affected you too much to be stable for work, Zavala officially commanded you to stand back and let them take care of the situation at hand, he didn't want you witnessing any more bloodshed, and didn't want reckless and impulsive decisions from your part. You couldn't take your revenge, which made you loathe yourself even more than you already did; cowardice and the sacrifice of others, that was the only reason you were still among the living that day, and you couldn't do anything to make their deaths count. Locked inside that room, you were practically immortal, no matter how many times you'd starve to death, die of thirst, of sleeplessness, you'd find yourself by your ghost's side, resurrected over and over again. He stayed silent for the most part, he knew exactly what you went through, and with the bond the two of you had, he practically felt all of it, occasionally trying to cheer you up, or remind you that there's still good in the world and not all is lost, but you hardly ever listened.

Lost in your train of thoughts, you almost failed to notice the obnoxiously loud knocking at the door, which persisted even after you yelling at them to leave you alone and just go someplace warmer. Your ghost was starting to get impatient as well, not with the nonstop knocking, but with you, his guardian with incredible potential to do great good, hell, to even be the most skilled hunter out there. He didn't need you telling what he could do and what not, instead, he went ahead and gave himself permission to dematerialize the securely locked steel door of your quarters.

"Oh, that was, uh, quick?" The vanguard said, inviting himself inside like it was his own room.  
"I understand you're not allowing visitors, but clearly I couldn't have you missing out on someone as great as yours truly, would be a waste."

"Nobody wants you here, Cayde. You might as well leave now, unless you want that stupid horn gone from your head"  
"Ow, ouch, would you really do that to my beautiful face? Anyway, jokes aside, I'm still your superior and you should probably treat me as such, even if I'm such a nice and chill guy to be around. Call me, like.. Sir Cayde the Incredible, or something."

"Quit flattering yourself... Mr. -6... sir..."

"You wound me, guardian, what have I ever done to you?" He said, gesturing to his chest as if he was clutching his heart in his hands, "But truly, I know what you went through really pains you, but people go on with their lives no matter what. If you get knocked down, you stand up and kick whoever dared knock you down in their miserable ass."

You sigh, not exactly in the mood to tackle this sensitive topic but you've been dwelling on it long enough to express your honest opinion, and maybe get people to leave you alone regarding it.  
"Except I don't just want to "go on" with the life I stole. It could've been them, any of them could have survived if I did just a little bit more, if I fought just a little harder. I was the one commanding them into battle yet they were the ones protecting me and what did they get out of it? Absolutely nothing, I'm nothing."

"Except you're not nothing, you're the top hunter between all the other guardians we have here in the Tower....except for, you know, the best, which is me. Well...you were, up until you locked yourself in that room of yours, which, if I recall correctly, isn't locked anymore, so unless you want me to gather a crowd around your door full of people who want to hear every single detail as if you were a tourist attraction and nothing more, you take a shower effective immediately, seriously, you look like shit, and also grab something to eat while you're at it, I can't believe I'm the one to remind you to take care of yourself, when I constantly forget about it myself, then meet me at the Farm for practice, you need some fresh air."

"I suppose I don't exactly have a choice now, do I?"

"Nope, you don't. I expect you to be done in half an hour or I'm dragging you out there myself, which, believe me, neither of us wants. Later skater."

And with that, he was gone. Disappeared as fast as he came, and unfortunately, you were left with basic needs to take care of and get back on track. Honestly, you were too flabbergasted and furious from his speech to be able to focus on your constant grief, which you weren't sure was a good thing or bad just yet. Either way, it really was the dawn of a new day, and hopefully a new age where you could learn to forgive yourself piece by piece. Also, you needed a replacement for the door.


	2. Field day

With glowing red skin, you stepped out of the steaming shower, releasing yourself into the cold air of your living quarters, which was abruptly left open after the incident a good twenty minutes ago. Your ghost was too preoccupied with making the room liveable again to have the time to transmat a new door, and he left the pleasure of telling commander Zavala about it being gone to you, so your day not only has been going incredibly great so far, but there was plenty of shameful explaining awaiting you once you were ready to head out.

You grabbed your old, partially torn and tattered equipment, the burnt smell of leather and blood reminding you of that terrible day you could never learn to forget; so instead of putting them on first, you asked your ghost to aid you in cleaning them somewhat. Your cloak suffered the most damage out of all the other pieces, the one your fireteam gifted you during the Dawning a couple years back, you always made sure to take good care of it and make some upgrades here and there every once in a good while, when needed. You wore it as a reminder of your sins, like a giant badge of guilt spread all around your back, cloaking you under the shadows like the coward you were. Picking up your favorite hand cannon and bow, you were finally ready to leave the confines of your room and take off into the real world.

On second thought, you might as well should've headed right back in; with the sun hiding behind clouds, presumably forecasting the possibility of a great storm, it was much colder out than you expected it to be. Needless to say, you weren't too happy about having to spend your day at the Farm surrounded by strangers, aside from the hyperactive vanguard and his equally hyperactive and reckless ghost.  
You reluctantly departed and set a course for your destination, in quite a hurry too, before you ended up changing your mind.

Once you arrived on Earth, it was quite possibly even colder than it was before, making you regret your decision even more, but since it was a superior commanding you after all, it wasn't like you could say no and go unpunished. You took a couple steps, shivering unbearably, before changing your pace to a sprint, running through buildings in hopes of finding a source of warmth, or even a safe spot where you could hide from the wind. After a brief moment of rest, you took a deep breath, sat down on the second step of the stairs leading up next to you, and attempted to convince your ghost to go look around for the infamous Cayde-6, which, frankly, he was convinced you could do yourself.

"Oh come on, just this once. It doesn't really hurt to screech some kind of a signal Cayde or Sundance would hear. Isn't there some kind of a sound frequency that hurts exo ears or something?"

"So really, a sound frequency? How do you propose we come out of that unharmed?"

"Wouldn't hurt to try, now would it? I'm not going out there in the cold, and I'm certainly not yelling for them to hear me and for others to think I'm some sort of a lunatic."

"If Cayde-6 hears it then-"

"He begins to look for the source, which is us- well, you, but-"

"He's gonna whoop some ass from having to go through that, and I can promise you it's gonna be us who get their asses whooped."

"Just a little? Barely audible? C'mon, I believe in you."

"You're going to be the end of us someday." He said in a tired tone, finally giving in to your terrible, terrible idea. "Broadcasting signal. Cover your ear just in case, it's not a nice sound."

After that, you waited. Waited for several minutes impatiently, but nothing happened, you were starting to doubt if the frequency even worked, but then you heard it; a deafening, abhorrent screech coming from all directions, a sound so terrible you were nearly pleading for it to stop, if only it wasn't for your dignity holding you back. You rolled onto your back, not even minding the cold texture of the metal staircase, just waiting for the noise to end. It did, not soon after, and the next thing you heard was an uncontrollable metallic laughter and a faint snicker from behind him. Of course.

"Hoo-" he places a hand on your shoulder, laughing hard enough so he can barely breathe, "Did you- bwhahaha- did... did you really think you could get me with that?" The snickering continues, "Did you really think I was that dumb?"

"Actually, they would've been right. It was my idea." Chirped Sundance in-between snickers. It was starting to get to your ghost as well, but a sharp glance quickly took care of that.

"You should've seen the look on your face..heh." he sat down on the stairs next to you, presumably to rest for a moment after all that laughing. "I may not be smart." He continued.

"But?"

"Actually I was done. No buts. Don't see why you care so much about my butt anyway, I know it's too good for my own good."

You sighed, "So did you have me come here to listen to you flattering yourself or are we gonna train or something?" You asked, already taking out your handcannon.

"Oh my, gods, no, there are people here. That's not the kind of training I had in mind for today, but now that you mention it, probably would've been a good idea. You haven't been out there for months after all."

"Oh, great, permission to go home then?"

"Permission denied. You really think I'd let you get away this easy, hunter? Nah. Nuh-uh. Nada." He looked lost in thought, well, rather, searching for ideas, truth to be told. "In all honesty, if I'm gonna be honest here, this was the Big B- I mean... Sir Commander Zavala's idea. He told me to get you out of that room somehow and train you back into shape because we need people like you."

"You need people like me?"

"Not me personally, no, I mean-"

"I completely understood, but the part I don't understand is, why would Zavala send a person to train me, who then refuses to do so and just ends up wasting my time? No offense."

"All taken. Also, waste your time you could be spending sulking inside your room? And hey, don't take it out on the messenger, I'm just trying to help. Actually, you're right, that might've went too far, my b. Look, just give it a shot, really. Promise it won't hurt."

"Then what's the plan exactly?"

"Actually I haven't thought about it just yet but give me a minute. Oh hey, how about... No actually never mind. Oh oh I know."

"I'm listening."

"We're gonna play hide and seek."

"...really? Is that it?"

"You have 10 seconds to hide, Sundance and I will be scanning everything. No going outside of the farm and no moving after you've found a hiding spot, besides, it would be easy to track you in motion so that's out of the question. If you truly still are the master of the shadows, prove it, after all, it's only me and a very intelligent ghost you're up against. Oh, and also, we have exactly two minutes to find you, if we run out of time, I owe you 50 glimmer, if you're found, you owe me 100. No questions? Good, your ten seconds start now, get going, guardian."

The audacity, the guts of this man. Not even giving you a single second to calculate your options, or to give him an answer even. "Bet's on." You say with mad fury in your voice, slipping into the shadows while he counts silently to himself.

It's been going pretty well so far, trough ages of practice, you've learned how to take soundless breaths and disappear from enemies' sights, even to stand near motionless like a statue. If you can survive with hundreds of enemies surrounding you, searching for you, how much harder could it be to hide from those two? You found just the perfect hiding spot on the railing inside one of the buildings, well, rather, hanging from it. You didn't want to risk having them walk into you or something similiar, you had to be careful, and somehow, hanging upside down was apparently your best shot at that. At least, that's what you thought.

Your ten seconds were over, and you immediately heard him run around the farm, yelling like some kind of maniac, to get a reaction out of you, but you were far more professional than to fall for cheap tricks like that. You took a deep breath, completely relaxing all of your body, equally balancing the light and physical strength holding you up between all of your parts, achieving complete zen. You counted the seconds, each and every second after your time was up, never losing focus. One minute, then one minute and a half, he was in the building you were occupying at the moment, carefully going through every spot, checking every rogue sound, hoping to catch you breathing, and it all went so good so far, but anxiety hit you as he was heading towards your hiding spot. Your inner peace was disrupted for a second, enough to upset you, but not enough to make your presence felt, you hoped.

"Okay, you can come out now, I know you're around here somewhere." He said, but their time to search was still far from over, and you both knew it. You weren't giving in.

One step, two steps, several... You were doing so well too, but him heading exactly your way said otherwise. You knew if you moved now, it'd be all over for you. Another step more, he was face to face with you, you couldn't risk breathing, he was too close to not feel or hear it.

"I know you're-" he said, stopping abruptly, pausing for a second, as if he was looking right into your eyes, well, rather, through them, then turned around, searching, "here somewhere, cmon, no need to freak out on me, you can just come out now."

You didn't budge. A couple more seconds, he was down the stairs and their time was over. You finally let go of your spot, uncloaked yourself; it was incredibly tiring to keep up that position for two minutes straight, especially while also using light to keep yourself invisible, but you did it.

"Congratulations guardian, I hope you're proud of yourself, you just made me 50 glimmer poorer. Here's your 35 glimmer. Oh did I say 35, I meant 15."

"Very funny, Cayde, but a bet is a bet, and you happened to lose."

"Well I wouldn't have lost if it was you searching for me instead. Your disappearing skills are truly, really remarkable, but have you seen me disappear when it involves me potentially losing money? I'm there for a split second and then woosh, I'm not."

"Keep flattering yourself like that and you'll grow a second horn."

"A second horn adorning my beautiful face? Jokes on you, that wouldn't sound too bad, in fact-"

"You're not getting a second horn." Sundance chimed in, "Congratulations on beating us, however, once I properly train this thickhead, you won't stand a chance."

"Oh will I really? You hear that, Cayde? Game's on, big boy."

"If it means your utter defeat and me getting rich off of you, I'm in"

"Don't get your hopes up."

As ridiculous and pointless as it was, it at least gave you something to preoccupy yourself with, to get busy with something so you can free your mind from the constant flashing memories of that day. It wasn't something you necessarily wanted, but it sure was something you needed, in order to start going towards your path as a guardian after straying so far from it. Truth to be told, you haven't spent too much time around Cayde as of late- Zavala considered him to be a bad influence on you, considering how hot-headed, impulsive, prideful and stubborn you both were. Occasionally ran into him on a mission or two, ran a few bets together,  got drunk together, sometimes the Drifter guy included too, but that guy's sort of a weird fellow, so you rather just avoided him whenever you could. Cayde wasn't a close friend, nor a distant stranger, at least not anymore, somewhere in-between probably. Most of the things you know, you learned from him, after your previous mentor disappeared without a trace, not that he was a good teacher, mind you. Besides, you didn't mind the company. Being locked into your room with only your ghost and yourself as company isn't too bad but to spend months living like that, it gets extremely boring and bothersome. Talking to someone who can piss you off with a single word is a comfortable change of pace.

The storm had passed by the time you and the vanguard arrived at the Tower, you haven't felt this exhausted eversince that one time you were training your super for 8 whole hours because you just simply couldn't make the best out of it, and that day truly was a tiring one. You took your cloak's hood off, finally letting the wind blow through your hair, and headed for Zavala's balcony.

"I see you're back. It's good to see you doing better already." He said as soon as he noticed you approaching, "I was worried for a second Cayde-6 wouldn't get his mission done, knowing his recklessness."

"I was concerned about that too, sir, but-" you bowed your head, "surprisingly enough, he did a great job, thank you, commander."

"Do not thank me, guardian, your well-being is of importance to all of us. We all went through terrible things, we all had our losses, but what a guardian needs to do, is get up, no matter what, and live, so that others won't have to die. I'm giving you time to get back in shape but I expect you to report back to me on your progress in a week, your assistance is needed."

"Understood, have a good day, sir."

"Dismissed."

And with that, another day was over, another exceptionally draining day, but finally, you were ready to start getting stronger, strong enough to make sure tragedies like that don't happen ever again; but for now, you really just wanted to get a new door and just sleep. You hanged your cloak over the exposed door, using it as some sort of a curtain and a "do not enter" sign combined, then promised yourself to take care of this matter some other time. You collapsed on the bed with a loud thud, and the countdown for a new, exciting day finally began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff about Cayde's new stupid ideas to get you back on track coming in the next chapter, I adore this goof


	3. Close moments

It was nighttime already, most of the guardians in the Tower already called it for the day, getting ready for the hard work awaiting them tomorrow, just like every other day, but Cayde, despite being almost completely drained, as if he could shut down any minute, had different plans. He was sitting in the leftmost seat at his favorite ramen stand, barely even looking at the now completely cold bowl of spicy ramen in front of him, apparent to anyone he was quite too much lost in thought. It was dark, the shop had already closed, yet he still just sat there in the dimly lit bazaar, completely and utterly perplexed.

"That's it, I'm done, no clue what to do, no idea, nope."

"Is that about the task Zavala has entrusted to you?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I just can't come up with anything, never been good at this teaching business anyway. I'm good at being an example and demonstrating what on earth they need to do, but actively training someone? Tell me you've got some of those genius ideas of yours."

"Maybe it's time you took a break, you have yet to recharge before the next day begins, unless of course you want to pass out in the middle of the battlefield."

"You know what? I might as well do that. Pass out, I mean." He said jokingly, taking a delightful sip of his cold soup, sighing once more.

"You know why Zavala chose you for this duty, right? If anyone knows about loss, it's you.", Sundance said, flying lower to rest on his shoulder.

"Hunters are my business anyway, but it's a tough sorta business no matter how you look at it. I'll figure out something tomorrow, I know just the spot where we should be headed."

"But do you really?"

"I...kind of...? I guess? Let me just finish this bowl and we can take a break."

\---

However, nobody could have predicted how the next morning began. You couldn't have made it up even if you tried, it was... As if you woke up from a dream only to be stuck in another one again. You woke up to a shifting weight on your chest, not exactly heavy, but noticeable none the less, the deathly screams of your ghost and a terribly obnoxious laughter and yelling. You sat up immediately, trying to grasp just what was going on, startling the creature resting on your chest, which in response started flying all over the room, screaming and cooing, making the chaos of the situation even worse.

"Oh thank god you're awake." Your ghost said, quickly flying by your side, "I had no idea what to do."

"First, what exactly is going on here?"

"Ask the guy with the cloak standing in the doorway having a great laugh out of his criminal activities."

"Oh come on," said Cayde, taking his hood off and stepping closer, "I know I'm roguishly handsome, but I ain't no criminal. Besides, my intentions were good, it just... Got derailed I guess."

"What exactly do good intentions have to do with an entire chicken running around someone's living quarters, pecking at innocent ghosts?"

"Can we all just..." You sighed, taking a deep breath, pulling your blanket further up for warmth. "Take a break and just... Tell me how, when, and why this happened?"

"So I just... Anyway, our girl Colonel here was feeling mighty lonely and that makes the two of you, so I thought I'd do a favor for both of you. Hit two birds with one stone... Except for the hitting birds part...Don't look at me like that Colonel, you know I didn't mean it!"

"You broke into my room just to make me hang with a chicken?"

"Technically...it's not breaking in if you don't have a door."

"You have caused me a near-death experience and I am forever scarred.", said your ghost, mockingly.

If only you weren't so tired, you'd already have had enough of the situation at hand, but this was one of the days when you decided to go 'this might as well happen' instead. You wrapped the blanket tightly around your quite underdressed form, so you wouldn't be exposed to neither the cold, nor the hunter vanguard's eyes, scooped up the frenzying chicken, then shoved it into Cayde's unsuspecting arms.

"I'm going to give you 3 seconds to leave my room, otherwise you'll be the one doing all the housework in my quarters for the next month or so, after all this mess you've created."

"I'll be gone faster than the wind. Also, housework doesn't exist if you willfully choose to ignore it. Be more like me."

Half an hour passed, then an hour, by then the two of you were out in the middle of nowhere, and frankly, you weren't convinced Cayde didn't actually get you two lost.

"Cayde... Cayde."

"Hmm? What is it, guardian?"

"Do you actually, 100% know where on earth we are?"

"Yeah we are on earth. Somewhere. Probably. But don't worry, I never get lost, hell, the only thing I can physically get lost in are my own eyes, I'm pretty sure you know that though."

"Really, now? Just figure out where we are and start the training so I can go home."

"Don't want to spend time with your favorite hunter vanguard? I'm wounded."

"You're the ONLY hunter vanguard."

"And your favorite."

"Only because I don't have an option."

After a little walk, you've come to a clearing full of fallen trash, really, so much you could barely see anything beyond them, and the more you waited, it seemed the more and more their numbers grew. "I'm guessing we arrived?"

"Yeah, yeah, so..." he cleared his throat, "We're gonna do some light training today. Well... Not like light, but light. I'm not gonna go easy on you. There's a basically endless supply of enemies here, god knows why, so don't expect to kill them all, but I'm gonna need you to focus. Your job's gonna be to create enough light with your super to have it recharge right after you're finished. If you're gonna be an assassin, be the best of them at least, and make sure not to disappoint me because I can and will cry."

"I'm not sure about the 'can' part."

"Oh please, if it was Cayde-5 we were talking about, then sure, I'd get it, but me? No way. I'm an entire unit better than that loser and frankly? I'm too damn good. Also I specifically requested myself to be engineered that way. Don't ask."

"Believe me, I'm not even the least bit surprised."

"Oh oh, also, if it wasn't already clear, no exotic gear and no masterworks. That's like, basically cheating. You can fire as many shadowshots as you want, I don't care, but as soon as those lunatics die, I expect another barrage immediately. We're not leaving until you're able to make the most out of your light."

"But when do I ever see you do such things? Go ahead and charge your super with that weak ass golden gun of yours, please, be my guest."

"Excuse you, my golden gun is fancy as hell, whereas you're the one needing training, not me."

"That's completely unrelated, also, watch me do this and come out a better hunter than you."

"That's not possible because I'm the only one who's better than me and I'm me."

You readied your gun, sighing, "You know this would be a lot easier with my favorite shoes, right? I literally-"

"Not this time, kiddo. No cheating if I say so, and, like, where's the challenge in that? If I'm here to make you suffer, one way or another, I'm making you suffer."

"Understood." You sad with a hesitant tone before jumping down from the safe spot into the swarm of hostiles, and dumping your voidwall grenade in the middle of them before you reached the ground.

With the endless suply of enemies, it really shouldn't take too long to charge your super, and thankfully you brought a rocket launcher, just in case you ended up in a similiar situation, so the kills didn't take too long either. You fired your shadowshots, one after the next, flying all over the arena until all the enemies were either dead or tethered, then quickly, before the shots had a chance to disappear, you fired the last rocket you had on hand, trying to get as many kills as possible, before switching to your hand cannon, you were so close, just one more orb of light and...

"Guardian down."

"Hey, kiddo... You doing alright there? Were the enemies too...strong..."

There it stood, the high level elite fallen captain, shooting your very much dead corpse, expecting you to reanimate any second, and then shoot you down once more. Which is exactly what happened.

"That was unexpected, I'm fi-" Another shot, and you were on the ground again.

"Just... Y'know, kill it." Said a mildly annoyed and quite impatient Cayde.

"Can't... It's..... Immune....." You breathed in-between deaths, but frankly, you weren't sure if the Vanguard wasn't actually enjoying all of this mess you've gotten yourself into.

"Can't believe I have to be the smart one here." He said, flinging himself into the air, drawing his golden gun in a swift, majestic motion, and fired a shot at the captain, then another, then another, the air so hot around him it nearly caught on fire... But not quite hot enough apparently. "Wait, that wasn't enough? Come on, all that flashy intro all for nothing? Ow, ouch, okay I get it, less talking, more shooting. I'll leave myself in your care, Ace"

You revived once more to the sound of fading gunfire and wheezing coming from the direction of the exhausted vanguard, who was now sitting on the ground next to the torrent of enemies, out of sight behind a huge boulder.

"That was one tough son of a bitch, let me tell you. Remind me not to do you any favors."

"Hey, I didn't ask you to save my ass!"

"Clearly, your ass needed saving, so it's completely irrelevant what you asked and what not. Thankfully, this kid knows how to do his job."

"Excuse me, Mr. Old man guy apparently, I ain't no kid."

"Who said I was talking about you? It's my boy, my baby boy. The kid. Ace. Also, if I recall, you still have a duty to complete, so until you've done just that, I'm just gonna rest here and think about the meaning of life. Go on."

"Understood."

"Oh, oh, also, I expect three of those instant charge supers, I'm pretty sure you've gotten the hang of it by now. Just three in a row and we can go home. The sooner the better."

"That wasn't the deal, wasn't it supposed to be a one and done?" You asked, hope starting to leave your soul; you were in for an awfully tiring and difficult afternoon, and it was already starting to get dark.

"Yeah, about that, changed my mind. But worry not, I know just the place to rejuvenate your entire body and spirit all within a single bowl. Your treat."

"Great, can't wait to- hold up... My treat?"

Silence

"Cayde?"

"Alright, alright... Mine, but I'm sort of what you call...broke.. at the moment."

"You? The big Cayde-Stash Hider-6 is broke?"

"Lost some bets and it hasn't come back yet. Not my week really, or lifetime even. Anyway, leave the chit-chat for later, duty now, unless you want to spend the rest of the night catching up with work. By that, I mean, work work. Duty work. Not-"

"Jesus christ, Cayde, I got it the first time."

\---

It was a terrible and almost unbearable grind, you had to be quick on your feet and even quicker with your weapons, but finally, a whole entire eternity later, which actually was like an hour or so, you were finally done for the day, ready to head back to the tower, even more exhausted than the day before. And in all honesty, it didn't feel too rewarding so far either; you just wanted to go home, really, but Cayde, being your superior, could really mess with your training routines if you decided to go against his will at any point, and you definitely did not want to risk that. God knows why he invited you to his favorite ramen stand anyway, maybe to make up for his strict lessons, or simply because he could use some friendly banter, or Zavala bribed him to do so, really, it was a question only he could answer, and you weren't interested enough to ask.

You sat down, pulling your cloak out from under you, trying your hardest not to damage it in any way. With the hood still on, you rested your head on the cold counter, blowing off the steam with a deep sigh, regretting ever getting yourself into this situation. Listening to him rambling during training is one thing, doing that in your free time, now that's another. The sound of a bowl sliding next to your head was just the thing you needed to regain your senses and sit back up, like a starving animal, who hasn't eaten in weeks.

Cayde let out a laugh at your sudden interest, "Now that seems to have gotten your attention. I don't blame ya, it's a real treat. The food of the gods, if you will."

"I wouldn't go that far, but right now it's either this or nothing." You said, taking a trusty sip, "Screw that, this is the best thing I've ever tasted. The broth so creamy but not too creamy at the same time, the spices, they compliment each other...and the sudden sting at the end..."

"Now look who's talking. I told ya, kiddo. The chef's the real deal, never did I think something could taste so delicious, and I'm an exo."

Your mouth was too full to say anything, but also, moments like this were the ones you liked to get lost in, to forget about everything going on around you, and just get completely immersed in the warmth of the life-giving soup.

"Y'know..."

"Hmm?"

"I've lost a bunch of people too. Well, more than a bunch, I just don't talk about it much. People don't like dwelling on things that could happen to any of us, it's like an unspoken agreement between everyone, to just mourn them for a day or so and then go about our life. Some people keep doing it, some give up and quit, some get tired. Hell, I've pretty much been bottling it up all my life. Sucks to see everyone go and just stand there, watch and live, because there's nothing you can possibly do."

"Maybe they're right and the best thing to do is move on... But then again, how to move on when you can't forget, and how to forget when there's so much to remember?"

"You can't and you don't, but at the same time you do. Really it's a hard concept, and doesn't make much sense either, believe me." He put his half-empty bowl down.

"Andal. You might've heard the name, here and there, but... It's been a while since then. People forget. The hunter vanguard before me, as well as the closest thing to a family I had, well, the current me. Lost him in our little Vanguard Dare. It's the reason I'm part of the big Z's fireteam now. Really, fireteams are a dodgy business. To get close to all those people, to get used to them, to dedicate your life to the team, it's really a hit and miss. Some people go solo and die, like that Lush guy after he lost his ghost, but god did he live his last life doing what he loved, and some take the risk of growing close to people they can lose. For the most part I was just fooling around, my fireteams and I, we were absolute menaces, but to get so serious as to join the Vanguard. Didn't do it for the paperwork either. Just for him, to honor his memory, and the promise we made. He wasn't supposed to go down like that, not by the hands of some fallen mercenary."

"Were you there? I mean, when he..."

"No, he went off on that mission alone. Snuck out, you could say. It was like... He didn't plan on coming out alive. If I was there, we would've wiped the floor with Taniks. It was a bet and I lost it, and with that, I lost my friend. This cloak- it used to be his. It's almost like I take him everywhere I go, except I don't hear his outright terrible jokes on the way. Miss that guy. Eris' crew too."

"My fireteam... I've known them since I first became a hunter, it was like, a small group of equally inexperienced people aiming too high. Thought if the four of us worked together, we could win wars, save mankind, take the world's weight on our shoulder and come out victorious.

First I met Alex, our titan. That kid was just so incredibly full of energy and positivity, and the way he trusted each and everyone. A real protector if you will. He'd even use his own body as a shield to save someone weaker than him, that's how far he'd go. A little reckless, but when we watched each other's backs, we were just so sure nothing could happen to us.

Then there was Sif and Ivin, our two warlocks, they joined at the same time, lovers, some of the best people I've ever met. Both young and ambitious. They trained under the same mentor, whom they quickly surpassed- I mean, no wonder, they were fast and witty, knew everything a warlock should, then trained under Ikora. They'd talk about how they can't wait for this mess to be over, to live in a world where you don't have to make every life count. I couldn't have asked for better teammates even if I tried.

My cloak- they gifted it to me... The only thing I have left to be reminded of them. Looks like us hunters have it rough. Taking the weight of our dead on our shoulders. Looking back, I would've done things different, I should've done things different. If only... If only I could've distracted the enemies and ran off with them trailing behind me, if I could've trapped them..."

"There's a reason things happen the way they happen, I think. It might seem different from a distance, it might seem like there could've been a different outcome, but then and there, that was the only way. Y'know, I used to have a kid and a wife. Well, the me before me did. I know nothing about them but... I like to think that he is alive and out there somewhere, and that someday, I'm gonna meet him even if I don't know it's him, and ask about how things were, how they will be, do all sorts of father and son stuff, but in the end it might not happen that way. We all already have our cards dealt for us, and we might not always come out a winner, and it's not always fair, but even so, we gotta take what we're dealt and make the best out of it. To go all-in was the only way one of you could survive. It was either that, or nothing. Risking everything is the only thing you can do sometimes, I know that well."

"I should've folded before we got into a situation where the only way to win was to lose."

"There are things we regret and things we keep telling ourselves we should've done different. It's the same for me; I dwell, regret, bottle it up, but even so I gotta pick my head up and look forward, because the path I'm walking isn't yet free from danger. We aren't out of the gutter yet to rewrite our past strategies in our head."

"Is that the reason Zavala asked you to get me back in the field?"

"I'd say it is, but I'm not entirely sure myself. Guardians learned not to share their pain with others, to just keep their problems close to their chest just like I have, but some are more open about it than others."

"I guess it was selfish to just lock myself in my quarters and disappear from the community without a trace. I don't know how Eris handled being the sole survivor so well, but that's not me. Just waiting for the wars to be over, that's what I was trying to do completely locked away."

"Ain't nothing bad in that, Z just didn't want you to be gone too long." he said, finishing his soup; yours has been left untouched for a while after being lost in thought. "Hey.. you gonna eat that?"

"Don't you dare lay a finger on my soup."

"Now that's what I'm talking about. Getting all soppy and emotional every once in a while is a good thing, but being extremely protective over your food? There's fire in that, that's the real deal."

"Just shut up and let me eat."

After you both finished, you sat in silence for a while, looking at the Traveler's light and how ethereal it looked in the night sky- it was quite unusual for Cayde to just sit and stay silent for a couple minutes, but after the talk the two of you had, it wasn't all too surprising. A lot to think about, a lot to take in. Right when you were about to get up, you felt a cold hand on top of yours, resting next to the now empty bowl.

"Hey... Thanks. For sharing all that, and for listening to me ramble. I haven't talked about this stuff eversince we lost Andal. I figured I'd best open up about stuff to people before I implode, but in the end, I'm glad it was with you."

You stood up, glancing over at the vanguard with his head low, not looking up, "I'm glad not everyone's heart is made of stone here. I'm the one who's thankful, you got me out of my cave after all. I know how hard it is to think about the times you've lost someone, but thank you. Both for sharing and for listening. I think I'm gonna call it a day soon."

"I'll probably stay here for a bit longer. Gotta chill before I even think about the loads of paperwork I have yet to finish."

 

What a strange day this has been; first that ridiculous fallen captain, then-

 

"One more thing, guardian!" Cayde's voice rang into the night.

"What now?"

"Next meal's on you."

"Keep dreaming!"

 

Just like him to derail your train of thoughts, nothing un-

 

"Oh and one more one more thing."

You sighed, "What is it, Cayde?"

"Good night."

"Good night to you too. Thanks again, for everything."


	4. Another bet

Another day has begun, by now you've already gotten your door fixed, so now intruders were one less thing to worry about... Well... That's what you would like to think, but knowing Cayde, if he really wanted to get in, a freshly installed door wouldn't stop him.

Speaking of Cayde, you haven't really seen him in a week or so, something about an important mission he had to attend to, not that you minded; the extensive training really wore you out after such a long time of doing nothing, you could use a little break.  
Even so, he made sure not to let you off the hook so easy. After every productive day, you were to write a full-on report, detailing each and every thing you did, how long you were out, what planet you aided, and most importantly, how many times you fed Colonel, if you tucked her in for the night early enough, if she received enough affection, and all that: giving you something to take care of, no matter how small and delicate, -going by his own words- would help you with your recovery, and also, he really had nobody else to trust with his chicken. Well, there was Hawthorne, but she's already busy as it is, so the only option was you, and you didn't really have a say in it either.

Honestly, you've been taking a pretty damn good care of her too, and the more time she spent running around the room, looking for things she found edible, and small places to snuggle into, the more fond of her you grew. It was almost like having a roommate, but not quite at the same time, and that said, you really wouldn't have minded Cayde going away on missions more often than not. Sure it was hard to get your ghost used to its natural predator, but by staying in high places or just hovering close to the ceiling, he managed just fine...probably.

For the past couple days, you entertained yourself with basic training and smaller patrols, to make sure your aim was still as precise as it was before the incident- you wanted to get back on the field and start including yourself in duties, but you weren't sure it was your time just yet; going in alone is one thing, accomodating to a group was still out of the question, so you just avoided strikes and missions altogether, and it wasn't like you could laze around all day either. Occupying yourself with something is better than nothing anyway.  
Except maybe for the fact that whenever you saw a fellow guardian, you couldn't help but disappear from sight immediately, that made things somewhat difficult, considering planets are huge and there's practically zero chance you'd manage to avoid seeing even a single person.

The shame of abandoning your people when they needed you the most, because of a personal tragedy froze you to the core everytime you locked eyes with anyone, or even looked in their general direction, be it vendors or adventurers, it didn't matter. You were stuck in an endless loop of trying to involve yourself in actively helping those in need, and running away in panic, because truly, you spent so much time away from these people, you were completely alienated. Everything was strange and unknown, many things have changed, and it was like this new, changed world didn't want you to be part of it.  
With every passing day, you spent less and less time on the surface, and just hid away in lost sectors, or caves anyone rarely ever visited, letting your ghost roam free, scanning your surroundings and collecting information.

You couldn't face people anymore after your failures. Hell, the biggest failure of all was you, or at least that's what it felt like. You were starting to look forward to Cayde's return the more your uncontrollable fears and doubts surfaced; somehow, with him, it was different, it never felt wrong. Quite possibly because of how aggravating you found his self-indulgence and narcissism, how incredibly competitive you both were as hunters, the most stubborn kind, and somehow, how his laidback personality just reassured you that 'yeah, shit happens, but I'm going to turn it around in my favor, so fuck fate'. It was as if a benevolent but chaotic spirit just went and possessed a piece of scrap metal, named himself Cayde, and decided to haunt and torment your already miserable ass just for the heck of it. And the worst of it, you didn't mind a single bit.

\---  
"...rdian." You heard a faint voice say. "Guardian."

You opened your eyes, shifting carefully, not to wake the peacefully sleeping chicken next to you. "Ghost? Something's wrong?"

"Possibly. I think we have a visitor. You should probably check."

You got up, groggily pulling an oversized T-shirt over your head, carefully making your way to the door, but failing miserably, tripping on nearly everything on the way; it was around 3 AM, you didn't have the energy, nor the willpower to have to deal with this. You considered picking up a weapon too, but for that you would've had to stumble further into the room, and frankly, you just couldn't bother anymore. A familiar pair of glowing turquoise eyes welcomed you upon opening the door, and if it wasn't in the middle of the goddamn night, you might have felt relieved, or glad even.

"Cayde? Welcome back, good night." You said, trying to hold back a yawn, again, failing miserably, already closing the door on your unexpected guest.

"Wha- hey, hold up.. c'mon.."

You opened the door once more, glaring daggers at him for making you be awake at this ungodly hour, "What do you want?"

"That's not a nice thing to say to the greatest person you so incredibly missed this whole past week."

"I can assure you nobody in this household missed you."

"So you DO think I'm the greatest person."

"Nobody said that."

"Nuh-uh, I'm pretty sure I heard ya say it."

"Just..." You sighed, "get this over with and leave. Why'd you come anyway?"

"I was supposed to get back, like, tomorrow, but this lass here, my beautiful Colonel had me all worried this whole trip. So I packed up and left early, finished my stuff ASAP and came without telling anyone. Say... Where is she? Did you take care of her? She doing alright? If anything happened to even a single feather of hers, whoever harmed her, god might forgive their sins, but I will not, so jot that down."

"Calm down, she's doing fine, don't wake her up. We're best friends now and she's already forgotten about you."

"Ow...you wound me. She wouldn't do that to me, we're buddies right, Colonel? Right?"

"So... Are you done yet?"

"I mean, unless you want to invite me in and offer me some coffee or something, I sure am, buddy."

"Maybe when it's not 3 AM."

"Time is just a conspiracy though anyway. Some wild stuff if you think about it."

"So can I close the door and get the hell back to sleep finally?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, uh, cool. Good night."

"Night."

"Actually..."

"What now?" You asked, barely able to keep your eyes open at this point, resting your head against the doorframe.

"Oh, it's nothing.. also, remember those reports I assigned to you? So once you're done with those, put a smiley face at the end of them if you can, that's an order. To show you had fun doing paperwork for me."

"But I didn-"

"Sure you did, buddy. I'll come check on you in the morning. And, uh, thanks for not slamming the door on my face. Nice shirt, by the way."

"Sure thing, whatever...good night, Cayde."

You closed the door, crawling your way back towards the bed, immediately falling back asleep upon impact. The vanguard lingered a bit more, sitting down at the edge of the walkway next to your living quarters, embracing the coldness of the winter night, before reluctantly getting up and making his way towards the main hangar for another restless night.

Just as he promised, he showed up at your door the next morning, knocking on the door nonstop- back to his usual, incredibly annoying, but regular self.

Still groggy from the previous night's interrupted sleep, you got yourself dressed in a hurry, then picked Colonel up from the bed, carefully enough so she'd be comfortable in your arms, and made your way to the door, contemplating whether or not you should open it. As the knocking continued despite you already yelling "I'm coming" beforehand, you just decided it was your best bet to open the door and let him in, or let yourself out, preferably.

"Howdy, guardian, Colonel!" He said, reaching out with a hand to caress the aforementioned chicken's cheeks. "Boy, did I miss you two."

"Two?"

"One. Chicken."

"Cayde, I understand you wanting to spoil your pet hen, but could you at least take her from my hands first?"

"Oh, uh, sure thing, guardian. Also, rude, She ain't nobody's pet, it's more like a...sort of bond we have? Like family or something...anyway, I'm gonna head back to the farm and take her home first, so you stay here and wait for my return, capisci?"

"If I recall correctly, I don't have an option."

"You're right at that. Toodles!"

"Aye, chief." You replied, watching his figure fade into the distance, before returning to your bed for a quick power nap before duty calls.

It was kind of a lazy day today, and that was how just about everyone felt inside the tower and outside it. Most guardians just spent the day in, or hid away in the bazaar, taking the day off to relax and drink their well-deserved coffee and the likes. You wouldn't have minded a similiar duty, but even so, you doubted Cayde would give you a day off to do anything you wanted just yet. On the other hand, you were pretty sure he wouldn't mind a little break either.

He got back quicker than what you hoped for, a LOT quicker at that; the sweet release of your power nap didn't last long, unfortunately, he was at your door after no longer than probably 10 minutes or so, and thus, your day has inevitably begun.

"Sorry bout that, now, where were we again? Oh. Right. Training." He said, as you guys left the room, heading towards Banshee-44 to drop off a few materials, in hopes of finding new equipment for you.

"To be real honest with you here, I really have no plans for today whatsoever."

"So does that mean I can g-"

"Nope. Not a chance. No slacking off on my watch, kiddo. But really, it's been a while since I've been back at the tower, and I really don't feel like leaving, so whatever we're doing, we're gonna have to do here."

"But what is there to do here anyway?"

"We could, like, hang out in the hangar and attempt to lift ships with our sheer strength, but I don't think that would work exactly."

"You up for a bet?" You asked, sitting down on the stair's railing next to Banshee's hut, simpering smugly at your vanguard friend, thinking about that glimmer you're going to be the proud owner of in just a couple hours, if all goes well.

"Guardian, we both know my body's always ready. For a fresh bet, that is. Say, aren't you even the least bit worried about all that glimmer you're gonna owe me after we're done today?"

"You're the one who owes me in the first place, I still haven't gotten my winnings from our last bet."

"Oh that's already in the past, I only believe in the present and the future. I have no idea what debt you're talking about."

"The big gambler refuses to play fair, how unexpected." You said sarcastically, standing up from your quite uncomfortable spot, stepping closer to the vanguard, to get his full attention.

"I never play fair, but neither do you, hey, I still remember that one time we tricked Sh-"

"That was one time and not so loud, he has ears everywhere. I don't want an ass whooping, especially not if it's a titan we're talking about."

"Oh believe me, if I were to speak, we'd both get our asses whooped. And banned from the crucible indefinitely, probably. Let's not do that."

"However what we should do, is..." You took the glove off of one of your hands as your vanguard friend stared in curiosity, not long before getting slapped across the face with it, "I challenge thee. Fight me. Just the two of us, you and I in the crucible, no cheating, no nothing, just a regular 1v1."

"What's in it for me?"

"Winner decides."

"Doesn't sound half bad, you already had me at 'bet' though. I hate to break it to you, but you don't stand a chance against me and Ace, buddy."

"Watch me. It's on."


	5. Fighting fair

"So what was it about not wanting to leave the tower?"

"Did I say that? I never said that."

"Sure you didn't." You said, letting out a laugh, trailing behind Cayde as you two approached Shaxx's balcony. Even though the difficult part hasn't yet begun, you were glad to finally get to blow off some steam and enjoy the day with a company you most definitely didn't despise, doing something other than a meticulous, deadly training. Not to mention it's been a while since you two got together doing something as clearly stupid as beating yourselves and each other up for the sake of some extra glimmer.

"It's been a while." Cayde said in a low tone, "This, I mean. Couple years back and we'd be going crazy with this stuff." He burst out laughing with the biggest grin you've ever seen. "I rememb-hoo.. I remember that one time... Y'know we were down at this bar, everyone piss drunk on the floor,  and I'm a robot, so like... Sundance and you crying laughing, and there's this guy, some.. sentient fallen or whatever... He's like the head of this gang, so drunk he can barely move but he's still winning, and I, all my limbs on the table next to him, being like 'I still have a head, big boy', and then you had to deal my cards, but couldn't see what was on them anymore. Then you..." He let out a robotic wheeze, having to stop for a second to catch his breath, "then... Next second you're laughing so hard you throw up right in his face."

You slapped your knees, having to crouch down to stop yourself from colliding into something from the hoot and holler you were having, "And Zavala... God he was so mad... Just..he, like... Watching the whole thing unwind, so angry I think the taken guy pissed himself when he started yelling. And he had to..had to carry you because you couldn't walk."

"And that lecture... The scarier he was, the harder it was to hold back the laughter." He crouched down next to you, taking a deep breath and sighing, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder, like in the good old days when you two would stumble home drunk after a day well-spent, "I miss that. Interesting how nightstalkers are the most rare AND the most fun."

"Now that you mention it, that was around the last time we'd done something like that."

"Yeah, the Big Blue said something along the lines... He doesn't like me leaving the tower because I keep getting myself into trouble, or something like that. Of course, I do sneak out regardless, but that's beside the point."

"And then I got busy with my fireteam, and you with vanguard business. Had to get serious."

"Yeah..."

"Funny thing is, after all this time I thought you'd be, like, just a stranger, but nope. Same old Cayde. Life just had something different in store for us."

"It's a shame too, our team was the craziest and most outrageous out of all in the tower. We could do the kind of dumb shit nobody would expect of us but everyone would be amazed we achieved."

"Things like giving Zavala a heart attack everytime he had to rescue our asses."

"He's just all too stiff, if I'm being honest, needs to learn how to chill like us. Hey, let's continue this conversation later, I have a bet to win." He said, getting back to the previous topic you near completely forgot about already.

"My boy Shaxx, how's it going?"

"First, I am not your boy, secondly, have you come to wreak havoc in the Crucible again?"

"Every day, big sexy. And hey, I'm the best there is."

"Actually, your guardian here is much b-"

"Anyway," he said, faking a cough, "I've come to ask for a favor. Important one. You see, we're in for a 1v1 here, and we need just the place to do that."

Shaxx sighed in defeat, knowing even if he were to argue with this guy, he'd be overly persistent about it, until he got what he wanted, and also he's heard about Zavala's request, he knew better than to stand in the way of his official duty. "I'll start the preparations right away. By the way, guardian, check in with Holliday one of these days, she's been waiting to see you. Oh, and you two will be headed for Nessus. Safe travels, and fight on."

\---

It was a quiet trip for the most part, but around halfway Cayde managed to reach your ship using a private frequency, which he then proceeded to abuse by singing whatever came to mind, and truth to be told, he wasn't all too good a singer. You might not have enjoyed it, but sure as hell you were entertained.

The joyous repertoire was cut short by you turning off the comm line as soon as your ship landed, cutting off any and all unwanted blabbering; you needed to focus on one thing, and one thing only, and that was winning this particular bet. You didn't really know why you wanted it so bad, or why you even had the idea in the first place, but you sure as hell were ready to wipe the floor with Cayde's proud and unsuspecting face.

You loaded your trusty hand cannon, scouting ahead from the shadows with your smoke bomb, making sure to remain undetected while you look for a spot where you can get a clean shot at the vanguard, who, judging by the scene he was making, didn't even attempt to hide at all.

"Thank you all for coming today, yes, yes, I know you all love me very much, oh... My biggest fan, thank you!" He said, bowing to an imaginary crowd, "Ladies and gentlemen," he cocked his gun, "let's get down to business."

The heated battle has officially begun, there was no doubt about that. The tension, like poison seeped through your skin and into your very being, with every new breath, you grew more and more silent, you let the shadows engulf you completely, nearly shaking from the excitement. You leaped upwards, boosting your jump on the side of the wall, zigzagging along the hidden tunnels of the arena, not losing momentum for even a second; you were blossoming, and you knew it. It was as if you've been training your whole life for this exact moment, and now that it has come, you were ready to show what you were made of, what lies beyond your title as a guardian.

It filled you with fire, passion, something you first experienced when the light found its way to you, when you started your training as a nightstalker, and what you haven't felt since, and have been searching for, for a long time. You slithered and ran, readying your knife on every corner, and now, the only thing standing between the two of you was the smothering fire of your voidwall grenade. He drew first, but not fast enough; you were already gone.

"I know you're here somewhere...probably." He said, gesturing to his surroundings.

His suspicion hadn't grown thin; you aimed your gun and shot, he dodged, looking in the direction of the sound behind him, while you carefully slipped into the shadows again. Another shot dodged, then another, he knew you were good, but so was he, despite how reckless he may have seemed at times. Not many can compete with an exo's hearing, you had to give them that. But even so, that was the only reason you haven't won yet; he couldn't catch a glimpse of you no matter how hard he tried, which, let's be honest here, put you at a great advantage. So if shooting was out of the question, there was one thing left to try, and that was your knife. As silent as you could, you dashed towards him like a gentle, but deadly breeze, knife against his neck, forehead against forehead, smirking at your imminent victory.

"Not gonna lie, I almost shat my pants there. Remind me not to ever get on your bad side, I've seen less scarier nightmares out here."

"Take it I won?" You said, putting your knife away.

"Well unless I shoot you in the stomach right here and now, it's a tie."

"Oh, please, you couldn't even hit me."

"Technically neither could you...well, for the most part. Surprised you went all soft on me."

"Wouldn't exactly call that 'soft'."

"I mean, you didn't actually slice my head off, so that's something."

"Can't go hurting my superior, now can I?"

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling that to yourself. We both know it's because I'm just too damn handsome to cut up."

"Say that again and I'll break into your house and take you apart while you're asleep."

"Take advantage of me while I'm asleep? Please, I'm just a little maiden, spare me."

"I'll just go ahead and ignore that, thanks for the mental image."

"Anytime, handsome."

You burst out laughing, sitting down on the dirt next to the wall, the adrenaline wearing off; you were just starting to feel how exhausting this whole ordeal was. Not that it lasted too long in particular, but it was stressful and exciting nonetheless.

"So..."

"So?"

"Can't wait to tell Amanda how I absolutely butchered her best friend."

"You barely won by a micro..inch...I guess..."

"But hey, I did win. Who cares about how and why?"

"First off, I went easy on you, and-"

"Suck it up, big boy. Now you'll do whatever I ask."

"Now, wait, is that what you want? I mean, was that- really, was this what you wanted if you won?"

"Uh..."

"Don't tell me..."

"Actually...I was so busy imagining myself win I completely forgot to come up with something."

"Am I a joke to you?" He asked in a quite dramatic manner, collapsing on his metallic knees in incredible sorrow.

"Oh you absolutely are." You replied, flicking his horn playfully, which, frankly, hurt you more than it hurt him, probably.

"How about a date then?"

"Well, fucking excuse me, who the fuck would want to go on a date with me of all people?"

"Yeah, excuse you, we're talking about me here, alright? Alright. Dinner date. Or just date without dinner. Whatever."

"Now wai-"

"Actually, it's just... A favor, really, meant to ask you. You know, how we had that talk a while back, made me think. For a while now I've cut off a bunch of people, not really proud of that one, but hey, I've only got myself to blame. I haven't seen Shiro-4 in a while, so I hit him up and he wants to meet, like in the good ol' days, except I keep finding myself trying to avoid the situation, or be like, 'oh hey, can't make it, sorry'. That's where you come in."

"So technically, it's your date with Shiro and I'm the third wheel to make things pleasantly awkward."

"No, technically, it's your date with me, and Shiro's the third weel, so he's gonna feel so undeniably awkward he'll just have to leave early and go mind his own business."  
  


You freeze for a moment. It's not like that, it definitely can't be like that, you think, as your mind starts filling with unfathomable thoughts you could never really wrap your head around.  
Honestly, with all the guardian work, you haven't really had the chance to worry about romance and the likes. Sure, there were occasional drunken kisses or more with random people you barely met, but that's about how far that went. And besides, it's not a real date, now, is it.

"And what makes you think I'll go with you? It's not even a real date."

"But it can be, if you want." He said, raising his eyebrows.

"I-uh..." You took a short pause, searching for the words to say, "Think I'll pass."

"Party pooper. Coward. What did this poor, poor exo do to deserve this?"

"No, like, hanging out is fine, but I just haven't been too social lately, I guess."

"If it's about Shiro, don't worry too much. We'll just hop in, say hi, then hop out, no need to get worked up over it. Then it can be just the two of us."

You sighed, giving in, "Guess I'll give it a shot. We can just call it a day after dealing with Shiro, no need to go out of your way to try and cheer me up."

"No need to, however I can, and will, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"How charming." You say with a hint of sarcasm, still not entirely sure what he's up to.

"Oh I know I am. Date's tomorrow, by the way. I'll be at your place to pick you up, don't know when though, so look forward to it."

The ride home was mostly a quiet one, aside from the terrible neo-country music Cayde was blasting through the communication system, but the endless thoughts swirling in your head, more and more idiotic and inconvenient with each passing second, just grew and grew, never seeming to stop. You were starting to think maybe, just maybe, deep down you wanted this date to be the real deal, and perhaps someone, somewhere nearby wouldn't mind if it was, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure many of you read these chapters still, but those of you who do, I love y'all. I've had some personal troubles lately so I took a little break from writing, but I just decided to go 'fuck it' and finish this chapter I've already started writing like half a month ago, so I hope you enjoyed.


	6. The night before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter before the big day

After exchanging your quick goodbyes, you didn't so much as look his general direction, just rushed off to your quarters to take in all of what happened today, which was, frankly, a LOT.

You felt like you've sort of strayed away from the main objective, which was getting yourself back in shape, and this was starting to feel a bit too much all at once, but you weren't sure you disliked it or not, not yet at least. One thing was for sure though, you weren't ready to be back around people, and this might as well have been just a trick to get you to socialize more, simply because you let your guard down and got lost in his eyes once or twice, and if that's the case, god have mercy on his soul, because you sure as hell won't.

You tidied up yourself, then headed straight to the hangar, ready to tell Amanda all about what happened; you haven't exactly talked to her since the accident, you both had a lot of catching up to do.

You didn't have to wait too long, as soon as she saw you step through the doorway, she attacked you with the worst, most uncomfortable and tacky, but warm hug, which is, honestly, something you sure missed.

"Oh god, I'm so glad you made it-" she said, checking you all over to make sure it's really you, "I didn't think you'd come... Well, I hoped you would, but I can't take everything for granted, now can I? Anyway, enough about me, how...have you been? How's everything? I.." she took a deep breath, "I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's something I wouldn't wish even upon my enemies, and there's a fuckton of them."

"I've been better, but lately, it's not too bad. Life goes on, things change, you gotta adjust and go on for the sake of the people you lost. I thought it was game over, but I don't think I could've been more wrong, it's hard to explain. I just wish they could be here to see it. The tower reclaimed, our powers restored, everything."

"I heard cayde's been hanging around you a while now. Zavala might finally be coming to his senses, I'm telling you. About time too."

"He's been training me, but it seems to me he's just fooling around and enjoying watching me suffer."

Amanda beamed at you, "I'm glad you're both having fun. That clown, he wouldn't shut his piehole about your ancient adventures for the longest time- it's fun for the first time, but I can recite the whole thing word by word and, I swear, if I hear him mention it again, I will weld his mouth shut."

"A lot has changed, we took different roads."

"I know you wouldn't have if it wasn't for Zavala. He thought it was best."

"And it was. I matured a lot, took my job more seriously and managed a fireteam, I would never have gotten there by just fooling around."

"Yeah you're right at that. Wasn't exactly the best period for him though, I mean, I can't speak for him, but he's my best friend, and he couldn't hide his emotions from me even if he tried. It was like him talking about you would make it less lonely, make it seem like you're still part of the gang."

"We weren't even that close... Yeah we did get into a bunch of trouble together, but that's it. I never knew him more than that."

"Oh, honey, there's always time for that. Now tell me what's really going on, any news? Anything spicy?"

"Wha- nothing spicy. Nothing even remotely interesting...well..I did beat him in a 1v1, wiped the floor with him rather."

"Not surprised, he's not one for strategies, he didn't stand a chance."

"He also asked me on a not date but maybe date."

"He- what? Fuck's sake why didn't you start with that? Leaving the best part for last, unbelievable. Go on, spill it."

"I mean, there's nothing to spill, he's just going out to meet an old friend and asked me to join him, it's nothing special."

"Nothing special, my ass. When's the big day?"

"Tomorrow."

"God he really didn't want to wait, did he. That fool. So, are you going or not?"

"I'm his friend so I really wouldn't want to leave him hanging. I just don't know whether or not to take it seriously.."

"Don't chicken out, good god, it took so long for y'all to hang again and now you're pissing yourself thinking about it, just go for it, baby!"

"I always thought..well, I mean, I thought that all this time, well, at some point, you had something going on between-"

"Gods no." She interrupted, "I mean, no offense, he's the chillest guy I know, and I absolutely adore his stupid face, but.. I don't think you've noticed, but honey, he's not my cup of tea, I'm a lesbian."

"Oh..."

She let out a laugh, stepping closer to you to wrap an arm around your shoulder, whispering, "He's free prey. All yours if you want."

You jumped back, shrugging her arms off of yourself, shaking your head. After all, that was completely out of the question, he's just an incredibly annoying old pal of yours, you want nothing of the sort, no matter how touch-starved you might be. Not happening. Never.  
"No, it's nothing like that, I'm not interested and I doubt he is either. We're just friends going on a friendly date, just buddies hanging out. I think you misread the situation."

"Misread my ass. Well, you know what's good for you, none of my business either really. You guys are a lost cause anyway, that stubbornness gonna be the end of you one day, I'm telling you."

"I mean, I can't exactly say you're wrong... Anyway, it's no biggie, just another regular day, I'll take care of it."

"You do that, champ. I still have a couple beauties out back that need fixin', can't keep them waiting all day." She gave you one last hug, goodbyes were exchanged, and you headed for your bed, ready to start fresh and forget all about the deal you agreed upon.


	7. Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some romance baby

The "date" didn't turn out how you expected it to, in fact, it was closer to being the polar opposite of what you imagined. You agreed upon a dinner date, just a peaceful, sophisticated, romantic (in a friend way), normal date with a friend, and possibly a third person you knew absolutely nothing about, and what you got, was... Something...extraordinary, to put it simply. Not to mention he got stood up by his old friend, cancelled last minute because of an emergency mission he needed to assist. Not being able to sleep the night before didn't do you good either; unlike the overly energetic exo next to you, your "batteries" weren't overcharged, your only fuel was pure panic, coffee, and something else you couldn't quite wrap your head around.

"So...do we really have to go? Like, really, really?" You asked him, sounding concerned, most likely because despite having all night to imagine possible outcomes, conversations and all that just to calm yourself even if only by a little bit, everything you built up in your head collapsed in a split second once you heard the plan change. You had more knots in your stomach than you've had your entire life altogether and dying to a heart attack suddenly seemed like a viable option.

"We pinky promised. Sorry pal, gotta deal with it."

"We didn't pinky promise though, you just-"

"Prove it then." Cayde crossed his arms, looking at you triumphantly with a smug expression.

"What?"

"Prove it."

"How? You're literally the only witness of it not happening."

"See, I'm right and you're wrong. I mean you're not wrong wrong, but you're wrong. I win."

"We could just hang here in the Tower, you know."

"Nah, Tower's boring, c'mon, it's more fun out there, just believe me. Whaddya think, you in?"

"I swear if you make me regret this, I'll take you apart in your sleep and bury your parts somewhere you'll never find them in a lifetime, starting with your horn."

"Ouch, kinky. Don't worry, it's gonna be fun, I swear. Although that does s-"

"No."

"Just thought I'd-"

"No. Not another word." You said, glaring at him to make sure he keeps quiet and stays quiet, embarrassment shaking you to the core, but not letting it show.

"Alright, I'll shut up. Hard to be a funnyman sometimes, y'know..."

"Seemed to me you're a real clown even without trying."

"Now you're just flattering me."

Ignoring the fact that you fell asleep in your ship on the way to your destination, slept through the whole thing and completely missed out on Cayde talking all kinds of nonsense (you didn't miss anything important), your trip was just more batshit insane than you ever could've imagined. Not that anything truly wild did happen, but you were convinced you were just gonna visit some faraway planet with a fancy restaurant, but instead, all you got was the shadiest place you've ever seen your whole life, down some broken stairway leading into a messily carved hole, with the word "BA" written over the entrance; the 'R' had previously fallen off, and presumably looted by a stray fallen who happened upon it.

"Cayde?" You asked, not convinced he wasn't pulling some weird prank on you.

"Hmm?" He purred with the most innocent and genuinely content face you've seen him make.

"Is...this the right place?"

"It looks refreshing, doesn't it?"

"Are you sure you're not dragging me into a den of enemies?"

"It's cool, don't worry. Weird aliens but no enemies anywhere close. Not many know about this place."

"I mean... I'm not surprised.."

"You don't like it?"

The disheartened look on his face made your heart ache as if it was thrown into a shredder along with the rest of your body, it was like when you take candy from a child and they look like everything has been taken from them, and you just end up regretting all your life choices. You were frozen for a second, his face grew more concerned.

"What? No, I, uhh...love it...? Of course." You said, saving your hide.

"Thank god. I was worried you wouldn't dig it as much as I do."

"I sure...do...?"

"Follow me then." He said, grabbing your hand and dragging you after him like an excited child, not even giving you the choice to just follow behind him on your own.

The two of you were inside in a second, and in all honesty, the inside of the "building" was just about as anticlimatic as the outside, and there was no way you could imagine it getting any better either. The place was dimly lit by a single candle resting on the reception desk, which consisted of a long piece of scrap metal held up by a huge rock on each side, with nobody behind it. Before you could think they weren't open, Cayde knowingly rang the bell sitting next to the candle, and it didn't take more than a moment until you heard a scuttling from above you; a fallen. You were ready to grab your weapon and defend yourself, but it soon turned out there was nothing to defend yourself from, as all the fallen did was crawl behind the reception and return a fistbump to Cayde, who was as cheerful as ever. Of course. You should've expected it after all this nonsense, but today never ceases to surprise you.

Words were exchanged, well, on Cayde's side, the fallen just grunted once or twice apart from the almost constant strange noises it made, it then handed Cayde a keycard, which he happily took before turning your way.

He flashed you the freshly acquired card, grinning. "Got it. C'mon, let's go." He said, moving into a smaller tunnel concealed by a curtain next to the receptionist, with you trailing closely behind him.

There were several metal doors in a narrow hallway, Cayde headed to the furthest one, next to a small window with bars on it, which certainly didn't make you feel uneasy, not at all. You were just about to be locked up in some weird fallen dungeon in the middle of nowhere, nothing unnerving, nothing out of the ordinary. The door opened with a creak, it was so dark inside, even the light from the window wasn't enough to let you see what was awaiting you, but you had to go nonetheless; Cayde was already halfway in there, not to mention you didn't really feel too safe outside either, so being near someone you knew sounded like the better option.

The metal door closed behind you with a loud clank, you were now in complete darkness, trying not to bump into anything. This was easily the most stressful situation you've been in in a long time, and that says a lot. A couple more seconds passed, and suddenly the room was adorned by all sorts of colorful lights, and gentle music was playing in the background. In the center of the room was a square table with three strangely comfortable-looking couches around it, and a large screen on the wall facing the door.

"Ta-dah." Cayde said, snapping you out of it. "Welcome to my favorite spot in all of the galaxy. Looks sweet, doesn't it."

"Wow. I mean, the outside had me a little concerned, but- yeah."

"I come here whenever I just want to take a break and relax, y'know. Not even the big Blue knows about this lil' hideout."

"So is this where you wanted to hang with Shiro?"

Silence.

"Cayde?"

Silence.

"...There was no emergency mission, was there?"

"..................yes...?"

"Cayde?"

"I mean...no...? But hear me out, alright? That shit's stressful, just wanted a bit more time without cancelling the date."

"There's no date, the plan literally was to get you to talk to people you cut off."

"And I will, but for now, yes date."

"I can't believe I agreed to this."

"Oh but you did, and now you have no choice but to enjoy every second of my incredibly handsome and fun presence, and inevitably fall in love with me, so we can have a tragic love story where we can't be together because your parents would never allow it, and I die in a duel trying to get you back, and you kill yourself because of how devastated you are you lost me."

You burst out laughing, shaking your head. "You're a goddamn clown, Cayde. Also, definitely not happening."

"Oh, it definitely is."

"Give it up, boy, you've got nothing on me."

"Nothing on you, that's k-"

"I will end you."

"Got it. No fun allowed. Noted."

"So...where's the drinks? The food?"

"Drinks inside the hole on the left, pizza on its way. All that's left is to have fun."

"Drinks inside the what?"

"Hole. On the wall, behind the thing."

"I can't believe anything still surprises me."

Cayde laughs at your pessimism, taking out a bottle of some weird swirly alien booze, and your favorite tequila, as well as a glass for each of you. You pour some for yourself, raising the now full glass upwards, gesturing in an over the top manner, "Cheers to whatever's left in this world to celebrate."

He raised his glass as well, "Cheers to spicy ramen."

You clinked your glasses together, nearly spilling the beverages all over the table in the process, then downed it in one shot, ready to pour the next one. A couple more shots with Cayde boasting about his achievements and you nodding or grunting in response here and there, and you were already starting to feel more at ease than earlier.

"Wanna see something fun?" Cayde asked, picking up a strange-looking half broken remote control device.

"Yeah, show me what you've got."

"Remember how I told you this place is THE shit? Check out this beauty."

You looked at the huge screen on the wall changing from a solid blue color to a list of various titles you've never heard of, presumably songs or albums. As soon as he started one up, you already knew what this whole ordeal was going to be, and you didn't get why wouldn't he just take you out to one of the karaoke bars in the Tower. If there were two things that guardians knew, it was how to fight, and how to party.

"So...just karaoke?"

"Not just any karaoke, it's karaoke with centuries old songs, baby."

Before you could even think about what to reply, the music suddenly started playing, first a row of piano notes, then gentle drumming.

"That's my fucking jam!" Cayde yelled, already stepping up onto the table, getting into dancing more than you've ever seen him get into anything. He extended a hand to you, inviting you up to his little stage, but instead, you shook your head and downed another shot of that weird alien drink. It had a mild taste of burning plastic and dirt mixed together, but all that was somehow suppressed by the taste of reminiscence, all the times you got wasted in all of the strangest places, to have fun and wreak some havoc, accompanied by Cayde most of those times, and if he wasn't initially there, you'd run into him somewhere along the way, and of course there was no way he wouldn't tag along.

You watched Cayde as he took off his cloak in the heat of the dance, throwing it at your face with a sly wink, before bursting into song again; a sight you don't see often. You draped it over your shoulders, on top of your own cloak, to fully absorb the moment as it was. You looked at Cayde, his metal plates glimmering in the dim light, eyes brighter than ever, just how it was supposed to be.

"You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen-" Cayde sang with his surprisingly gentle, and even more surprisingly completely off-key singing voice; it truly was a miracle to listen.

Didn't seem to bother him one bit, which was one of the things you were truly envious of. The only time you could let loose is either when you had a terrible fever, haven't slept for several days in a row, or simply got so drunk you won't recall a single thing come tomorrow. Today it was gonna be the latter one.

After the song died down, Cayde hopped off of the table, sitting down next to you to finish another shot of booze.

"How was the special show, good-looking?"

"Outrageous. So terrible I should've brought tomatoes to throw at you halfway."

"Joke's on you, you loved it."

"Oh really? So get back on the stage so I can start booing if you really want me to prove." You said, bursting out in a gleeful laughter, looking at him with the smuggest expression you could make.

"Only if you get on with me."

"I've never even heard these songs my entire life."

"The trick is to just.... Feel the groove baybey." He said, moving his head sideways with his hands clasped together, resembling some ancient eastern dance ritual you could've sworn you've seen once before.

The night went on like this- constant bantering, silly jokes, ridiculous stories from the past, drunken dancing, everything that makes a night good. Needless to say, it's been a terribly long while since you last got to enjoy yourself like that, and you could get used to it.

Cayde broke out in laughter again, now completely sprawled out on the couch in the most uncomfortable position; one leg on the floor, one leg on the couch, one hand holding onto the back of his seat for dear life, trying no to slide right off, and the other, well, somewhere behind your back, but not close enough for you to feel it touching you.

"Can't believe that Blue asshole took this from me." He said, seemingly lost in thought.

"What was that?"

"Maybe if his head wasn't stuck in his blue ass all the time he'd treat people like... People, not tools to pick up somebody else's shit with."

"We are guardians before we are people, that's what we signed up for, so it makes sense...I guess."

"I didn't sign up for shit. Well, actually, I'm pretty sure I did, but that wasn't me, and also, bad choice past-Cayde."

"I mean, you wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for past you."

"Oh shit, you're right, but- that's not the point. Our Z boy here, he knew I wouldn't just change, so he just decided to, y'know, casually make me cut all contact with, and let me emphasize this, the literal BEST gang, which is obviously us, just to tame at least one of us if not both."

"Does it look like it worked?"

"Hell no it doesn't." He laughed softly, downing another shot. "Did you know I'm the best hunter out there? The most handsome too."

"You've only told me like a million times, and I beg to differ."

"Then beg." He put his glass on the table, fiddling with the hem of his cloak on your shoulders. "The worst thing is, yeah the Vanguard's the most famous fireteam, but we almost never do missions together. It's always just boring paperwork or giving orders to random guardians all day, the only time I can have some action is when I sneak out and get myself into trouble. They're just out there to be mentors, people to look up to and learn from, that's not my style."

"Has its ups and downs, I guess, but at least everyone gets to see how charming you are." You said teasingly with no hint of embarrassment, thanks to your trusty drink.

"Couldn't care less who sees, as long as one person does." He murmured under his breath, so quiet you couldn't quite catch it.

"What was that?"

"That? Don't know what you mean, didn't say anything. Nope. Anyway, round two?"

"I'm out, not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself just yet."

"Thought you were already doing that."

"So very funny, Cayde, I will wipe the floor with you."

"Does that mean you're in? C'mon it'll be fun. Besides, I clearly don't know what I'm doing either. Just pretend you're cool and the rest will come."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Always."

You grabbed the remote, shuffling through all the unknown songs until one caught your eye. "How about this?"

"Great choice. Absolute anthem. Can't go wrong with that."

"Here goes nothing." You said, starting up the song. It had a pleasant melody, if only it wasn't so unfamiliar and completely unknown by you. Not like you could back out now anyway. You decided you'd just listen a bit and learn the chorus, that was your only chance to even be able to interact with the song. While you waited for your time to shine, you downed the last bit of the booze left in the bottle, preparing yourself for your inevitable doom. 

Cayde was having the time of his life already, somehow magically knowing the lyrics of every single song in this database; you kinda didn't want to know how much time he's spent here in this strange place, but for some reason, it piqued your interest regardless. It was a mystery just like him.

"And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever." He sang, motioning dramatically around himself, falling on his knees.

Everything was so exaggerated and over the top, there was nothing not to adore about this fool of an exo. Of course, in a friend way, obviously. You listened to his terrible, but calming singing a bit longer, then braced yourself and stood up on the table next to him, nearly knocking everything off in the process, but Cayde, being his stupid insightful self, helped you not stumble and fall face first onto the floor like you almost did. You joined him when the chorus came on the second time, gripping the empty bottle like a microphone, singing your entire soul into it. You had to admit, there was something about singing anything you wanted, as loud as you wanted, without a single care in the whole wide world; it was more relaxing and liberating than you had previously anticipated, but also, you were far too lost in the sauce, with the sauce being alcohol and you having drank too much.

By the time you were finished with the song, the pizza delivery guy had arrived, and Cayde stepped out to take care of it. In the meantime, you were just sitting there, drinking it all in, lines of the song still stuck in your head. 'Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time', that really struck a chord there, maybe because you were too drunk and let your brain catch stupid ideas in the heat of the moment, or maybe because Cayde had somehow softened you up when you let your guard down at some point.

'Romance is not for guardians' has always been your policy, not 100% because you truly believed that, but because Zavala had been pretty strict about it, you saw no point in disagreeing; there were undoubtedly more important matters than love. Your life was busy, just like every other guardian's, and bar-romances were as far as you let things go. You had to admit, you were a terrible drunk; incredibly emotional and affectionate, and pass out without a warning from one moment to the next, whenever you see fit. As hazy as most of those memories are, you still remember some, like that one time you went through the whole bar giving kisses to literally anyone you saw, simply because 'they looked like they desrved it', except for Cayde, just to try and piss him off. It paid off too, the expression he made was priceless, you've never seen an exo look so betrayed before. Though, you didn't really want to admit, but you kinda regretted missing out on that, just to feel what it's like.

Your favorite 'least favorite' exo finally came back with the most awaited pizza, which, he claimed, was one of the best, and was worth the wait even if it arrived completely cold and miserable. He sat down next to you, resting his legs on the table comfortably, picking up a slice of pizza, before looking at you, who's half-asleep already, struggling to stay awake.

"You're missing out on the best part." He said, ruffling your hair, then handing you a slice as well.

You didn't say anything, just took a bite of your pizza, resting your head on Cayde's stiff metallic shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable spot, and in any other situation you never would've done such an incredibly embarrassing thing, but right now, you weren't sure if you were awake or dreaming anymore, so just gave in and let yourself get lost in the moment.

You closed your eyes, the music from the background grew more and more subtle, until all you could hear was the gentle ticking and whirring of an exo heart. Cayde stiffened up even more from the sudden contact, then relaxed once again, finally wrapping his lingering arm around your shoulder like you wanted him to hours ago. You could stay like this forever and you wouldn't mind.

Your mind was getting fuzzier by the minute, weariness taking over you; it took a real effort just to open your eyes. So instead, you inched closer, slowly and carefully, planting a small kiss on the unsuspecting exo's cheek, before inevitably drifting off to sleep.

He sat like that a while longer, reluctant to move just yet, but the night had unfortunately come to an end, and you were far too drunk and far too asleep to help yourself get home. Cayde picked you up in his arms, careful enough not to wake you, making his way to his ship; he'd come back for yours later on, his had to do for now. The ride home was quiet and long, your ghost checked on you a couple times to see if you were alright, but Cayde seemed to have the situation under control.

After the long and uneventful ride was over, Cayde carried you through the sleeping city; the tower was silent, barely a guardian or two scattered about, the night watch quietly guarding the hangar, like every other night. Except this wasn't just a regular night and you both knew that; things can't always stay the same.

He arrived at your doorstep with you in his arms, your ghost helped unlock the door to let yourselves in. With his cloak still wrapped around your shivering body, he put you down on the bed, grabbing the blanket to tuck you in completely. He sat down next to you, silent, just admiring the scenery; your face adorned by the tender moonlight, your cheeks flushed from the alcohol, lips slightly parted, a sight that'd knock all the air right out of his lungs if, well, he had any lungs at all. He leaned closer, resting his forehead against yours, extra careful not to impale you with the horn.

"Y'know..." He whispered, barely audible, before leaning even closer, pressing his mouth against your warm lips, lingering a bit more before reluctantly pulling away. "That was the best thing that's ever happened to my face plates. And you won't remember any of it.." he sighed, placing a hand on your cheek, caressing it for a while, then got up, suddenly remembering you still had his cloak covering you, "I'll let you borrow it this once. Good night, my hunter."  
With that, he was off; ghost made sure to lock the door after him, while you unknowingly slept the night away in a drunken daze.

...And he was right, you didn't remember any of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter coming one of these days, then a longer one soon, probably


	8. That's what happens when your exo is dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry y'all, he's a clown

That night he slept by the railing next to your quarters, and by that, I mean he lay there restless in deep thought, like almost every other night for the longest time, and this time, with you on his mind.

By the time you woke up, it was already some time into the afternoon; all that exhaustion finally caught up to you and apparently all you needed was to get piss drunk and sleep the day away. Despite sleeping all day, you still felt like a dead man rotting in their grave, your head nearly imploding from the hangover.

You grunted, turning in your bed, which honestly was a terrible idea, considering it just made your nausea about ten times worse than before. "Ugh... Ghost?"

"You're in, uh... A terrible condition, guardian. Do you want to look in a mirror?"

"Currently I want to jump off the goddamn tower so I can be revived and maybe feel less dead."

"Interesting hypothesis, but how about I just heal you up instead?"

"Doesn't sound nearly as fun as my idea, but go ahead."

You lay there a bit longer after being restored, memories fuzzy from last night's drinking, and for some reason, you had Cayde's cloak still wrapped around you, and it wasn't like him to leave important stuff like that lying around. You heard a shuffling noise out of nowhere from the door's direction, as if it the lock was being picked in broad daylight; certainly not the world's most clever burglar. You grabbed your weapon just in case, unlocking the door and startling the criminal in the process, but before you could question him, he already ran off, not leaving as much as a trail behind him.

"Cayde?" You yelled after him, leaning out the door, but he didn't turn back, in fact, he was long gone. "What's up with him?"

"I have surveillance footage from after you were out, but that doesn't explain this strange behavior."

"Ghost, show me the footage."

"Right away." He said, projecting the video in front of you.

You watched yourself be tucked in bed by the exo, watched him lean closer, so close you could barely see what was happening, but what you definitely did see was him pressing his 'lips' against yours, for quite a long time, too.

"Bastard man. Fool. If that's what he's so worked up about, I'll beat his ass to a pulp. If it bothered him so much, he could've just told me."

"Guardian, your heart rate-"

"Shut up, I know." You said, lying back ontop of the bed, covering your face with Cayde's cloak, taking it all in. It smelled like rust and chili, didn't look like he washed it ever in his life either, still, it was a smell that belonged to him, that stupid piece of metal you could hardly get off your mind eversince he first broke into your room uninvited.

"I think you should head out soon-"

"I know, and I will." you replied, sighing, "Just need a bit more time. I'll-" Just as you were about to speak, you were interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. You leapt to your feet, heart nearly jumping out of your chest, hoping it was Cayde on the other side.

"Cay--oh..."

"No need to sound so glad to see me." Zavala said. He had a bunch of papers in his hand, presumably paperwork about missions and the likes, it seemed like he had something for you too. "You will be assigned a new tutor in a short time, however it will take a couple days to find someone with the necessary knowledge. There are not many truly skilled nightstalkers left standing, as you know already."

"What?"

"I said, it is gonna take a-"

"What happened to Cayde tutoring me?"

"I was hoping I could ask you the same question. He resigned first thing in the morning, didn't give me an explanation, I was hoping you'd know if anything happened."

"He- I don't understand... Why would he...?"

"I believe you have things under control, a situation like this is no reason to be slacking off. In the mean time, there's a mission I'd like you to take a good look at." He said, handing you one of the papers, "I think you're ready for it, guardian. And go talk to Cayde when you have the time."

"Understood, sir, thank you."

After he left, you looked at the details of the mission; nothing you couldn't take care of, it was a scouting mission, too, right up your alley.  
"Thank god I won't need to work with strangers for this one."

"We both know you like working alone, but sooner or later you're gonna have to accept the fact that fireteams exist for a reason."

"I'll leave that for future me to worry about, present me already has enough on their plate"

You had to gather the courage to leave your chamber and start looking for Cayde wherever he might be, you got the feeling today was not going to be a day you wanted to remember, or experience, for that matter. In any case, the plan was to find out what was going on, and if the answer wasn't something you wanted to hear, you'd just leave for that mission you got earlier than anticipated, and get away from the Tower for a while, as long as you needed.

He wasn't anywhere near his favorite hanging spots in the Tower, and for some reason it never occured to you until now that he still has a post in the hangar where he has to work every day, unless something gets in the way. You had to take another deep breath before going down the stairs, clutching his cloak in your hands anxiously. And there he was, just like he was supposed to be, except he didn't look as happy to see you there as you did. He dropped the stack of papers in his hands on the small table, frantically searching for something, or at least pretending to.

"Cayde? What's up with y-" you tried to ask, but he cut you off.

"Oh, hey Guardian, nice to see you, really, except I'm really busy right now with...things? I have this, uh, thing I need to do, so I'll just be taking my leave. See ya!"

Before he could walk away, you grabbed his shoulder, expecting him to turn around and face you, but he didn't budge.  
"Just what is wrong with you today?" You sighed. "You resigned without a word and now you're even avoiding me. Listen... Do you hate me that much?" You let go of his shoulder, biting down on your lip in deep concern.

After a short minute of hesitation, he replied reluctantly, "Don't get the wrong idea, I don't hate you or any fellow guardians. I just have stuff to do."

"I know about the kiss."

"Oh, that? Just forget about it, then, 'twas just a mistake. Things happen sometimes but no need to make a big deal out of 'em."

"So, just forget it like that?" You snapped with a finger, getting more and more upset with every passing second.

" You know it." He turned around, looking at you expressionless, "I believe that belongs to me." He said, pointing at his cloak in your hands. "Mind giving it back?"

"Oh, why would I mind? I don't mind at all! Take your fucking cloak and go rot in it for all I care." You threw it at him with all your might, about to explode any second from all the emotions swirling in your head, filling you to the brim. You began walking away, but after a couple steps you stopped, changing your mind. "Actually, one more thing."

"What is it, gua-"

His sentence was cut short by your hand slapping him across the face with all the strength you could muster up, cutting your palm on his metallic features in the process, but that didn't matter to you, not in a moment like this. You really didn't have to deal with this today, but you did anyway, and it ended up exponentially worse than how you thought it would go. You walked away, lungs short of breath, like you were slowly being suffocated, except a thousand times worse; you felt betrayed and more alone than you've ever had your entire life, and right when you really could use a friend, you suddenly had none.

You departed from the Tower without a moment of hesitation, not looking back, and headed straight to Mercury, to gather intel about one of the recently escaped Cabal prisoners, and possibly something more that was going on there.

"Are you alright, guardian?" Ghost asked, sounding genuinely worried about your well-being after what just went down.

"Alright is a bit of a stretch, but I'll be fine. I just... Need some time alone, I think."

"I guess so... But being alone will just make it worse in the long run."

"Hanging around people is not my thing. It's only for my own good to be the lone wolf I've always been. People are a weakness, I can't let myself be vulnerable like that; if I get attached, I run the risk of losing them again. Like that stupid idiot piece of shit exo."

"How's your hand? You didn't let me check on it."

"Hand's fine, it'll heal. Who cares, really, I'll be fine."

You'll be fine; you kept trying to convince yourself after everything you've been through lately. If the red legion couldn't put an end to you, nothing can, even if you wouldn't mind taking the easy way out. You still had a lot of things you needed to take care of, to think over, but you didn't want to confront those thoughts just yet; duty first, personal matters later.

You just wished this whole day was some bad joke, a terrible nightmare you'd soon wake up from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter already in the making process, I'm fucking livid


	9. The sanctum of the Sun

You've never been to Mercury before, as it's been run over by Vex a long time ago, in fact, the first you heard about anyone visiting Mercury from the tower lately, it was the famous guardian who had his light return to him during the Red War. You've only ever heard about him through rumors; you somehow managed to miss out on all the big events, so at this point you weren't sure he actually existed or if he was just a local myth, though he allegedly came here on some sort of a mission not long ago.

When you stepped out of your ship, the first thing you noticed was how scorchingly hot and dry the air was, a gentle breeze blowing sand and dust into your face. You looked out to the horizon from up high-- vast oceans of sand, incredible monuments, and perhaps the most eye-catching, a gigantic pyramid in the midst of it all; it was the most beautiful sight you've ever seen, in fact, you couldn't imagine something so incredible and breathtaking could exist in this wretched world, amongst all the horror. It was as if the Light itself was trying to mend all your wounds and reassure you that there's a reason you're still alive, and for a split second, you truly felt like your life had a purpose.

"Ghost?"

"Hmm? What is it, Guardian?"

"I'm sure I'm going to be fine."

"I'm sure you're going to be fine, too."

"Cayde is... Somewhat of a mystery to me." You said, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. "One minute I think I have him figured out, then he goes and takes a 180° turn, and it's back to square one."

"He'll come 'round eventually."

"That, I'm sure of. Now when, that's up to him. I seem to have calmed down a great deal on the way here, at least compared to how on the verge of everything I was earlier. C'mon, let's not waste more time, we have a job to to."

"After you, Guardian."

Trusting your senses, you entered the lighthouse next to you to announce your arrival, and question them if they knew anything about this prisoner of yours, since Zavala couldn't provide you with much info. You needed to find out where to look. Also, you were fairly curious about what kind of people would be committed enough to live in such terrible conditions.

"Welcome to Mercury, guardian. How may I assist you?" Said an unknown voice- it belonged to a strange man in a cultist-like attire, a deep-crimson cloth wrapped around his eyes.

"I came here on a mission. I got intel that there was a prisoner on the loose, got sent to find out why and how."

"Unfortunately I have no information I could help you with at the moment, I suggest you contact one of the guardians who arrived not long ago, they might know more than me. Oh, and how rude of me, allow me to introduce myself. I am Brother Vance, devout follower of Osiris."

"Thank you, Brother Vance. I will take my leave now, better start looking before all the trails go cold."

"Do take care."

So asking the locals was out of the question, the only other easy option was to look for a guardian who may know something, but that meant talking to other guardians, so also out of the question. You decided it was in your best interest to scout the whole area and look for tracks in the sand, or things that look out of place; with the wind blowing the way it is, it was going to take an awful lot of time to find any leads, but that's about the only thing you had right then and there-- time.

"Did you know that one solar day on Mercury takes two whole Mercurian years?" Ghost asked, getting tired of the complete silence while you were carefully sneaking around enemy territory.

"What the fuck?"

"That's exactly about 175.94 days on Earth. Weird, huh?"

"Sure it's weird, but I don't think you realized, right now we're trying our hardest not to be detected, so I'd appreciate if you stuck to the plan."

"Right. Go on. No more fun facts."

"Our top priority is not dying. Facts later."

Something was definitely off. You spent a while longer scouting ahead, but something definitely felt wrong, as if you constantly had a pair of eyes piercing at your back, as if something or someone was monitoring your every move and you didn't like it one bit. Sometimes you'd hear a hushed breath, or footsteps from somewhere behind you, but no matter how hard you looked, you couldn't catch any movement anywhere nearby. You mostly stayed in the shadows, only engaging in combat when really necessary, but even then, you took them out with a single stab, not wanting to attract more attention than needed; the place was swarming with enemies.

"I wonder if it was a false alarm." You said, "I've encountered a lot of vex and a lot of cabal, but none of them seems to be the guy I'm looking for."

"That, or perhaps he's left already. Who knows when this mission was posted, he could easily be on a different planet by now."

"In any case I think we should make camp for now, the temperature's not gonna get any better and despite my armor regulating my heat, it's gonna get unbearable soon enough."

"Good thin-" Ghost tried to say, but it was soon cut short by you.

"On your guard, something's definitely watching us, I can sense it. Let's get going, I have a terrible feeling. We'll make camp behind the pyramid, that seems like the safest spot, and investigate some more after getting some rest. Quick, hide in my pocket, you're the more vulnerable one of the two of us."

You slipped into the shadows, running and maneuvering as fast as you possibly could, hoping whatever was watching would lose track of you, and for a while it seemed like your plan worked. You set down your camp at the foot of the pyramid, with a great view of the Sun and all the unexplored, uncharted land beyond, setting down a tent next to the wall, and a sleeping bag to get comfortable while you rest up.

You figured falling asleep would be harder than it should be, being as close to the Sun as you were, and also because keeping one eye open at all times was the only way to avoid getting attacked by enemies in your sleep. Hunters had it tough anyway, especially nightstalkers, with the constant nightmares-- you've gotten used to it by now, mostly, at least you'd like to think that, but no one can really get used to hearing their loved ones' bloodcurdling screams on repeat every single night, while watching the flesh being torn off them by unknown horrors you couldn't quite put your finger on. You lay there ucomfortably, staring off into the distance with half-closed eyes, wondering if it might not be such a bad idea after all to run off, abandon the Tower, go to some faraway planet where you can be more free than you've ever been your whole life, and just live there quietly in a nice little cave you can have all to yourself. Being a guardian had its ups and downs, and being chained to duty was one of the downsides; even if you had fun doing what you're doing, it's still not freedom, not quite anyway, Cayde knew that better than anyone as well.

In the end, you couldn't get any sleep, but even resting for a couple hours without falling asleep was better than going into battle physically and emotionally drained, so the effort was not wasted completely. Still, you wouldn't have minded staying like that for an hour or two longer, but you knew it was time to get up and start coming up with strategies; the case wasn't gonna solve itself, and neither were you, if you lazed around all day.

"Ghost? How far into the day-cycle are we?" You asked, remembering the conversation you had earlier.

"Judging by the Sun's position, I'd say... Roughly about 85 days in. It's already past its first, partial sunset. If we stay a couple days more, we might get to see the night on Mercury for the first time in our lives."

"We should pick up the pace then. Conditions are gonna get real bad if we take our sweet time. We can't exactly afford to freeze here."

"You've been through much worse, Guardian."

"How is that supposed to make me feel better exactly?" You asked, tapping your ghost's shell with a finger.

"Ouch, cut it out!"

"C'mon, let's pack up and head out. Long day ahead of us." You smiled, glancing slyly over to your ghost. "Make sure the Cabal don't eat you for breakfast."

"Oh, uh, about that actually, let me hide, please...?"

"Think I'm good."

Ghost raced by your side, hiding inside your hood to seek safety, "I can confidently say maintaining my well-being is in both our interests."

"Hmm, is that so?"

"I'm too young to be eaten alive."

"Oh, and I'm not too young to freeze to death, right?" You laughed, grabbing your ghost and hiding it in one if your hidden pockets. "There we go."

"I promise you won't regret this."

"I might, if you don't keep quiet."

"Noted."

Truth to be told, yeah, there was an entire ocean of enemies on Mercury, but aside from that, there actually wasn't much else... Going around in circles and patrolling was fun the first two or so times, but nothing's changed so far, and it was starting to get extremely tedious. First thing you did before going on said patrols was to examine the enormous pyramid you rested behind earlier, but it only went downhill from there-- the entrance had some sort of a forcefield in front of it, so entering seemed quite impossible at that moment, instead, you had to find something else to do.

"I'm starting to regret taking on this job." You sighed, slumping down on top of a boulder to clean your weapon, taking a break from scouting. "Good to be back on the field, but this could quite easily be one of the most underwhelming missions I've ever been on in my life."

"We can still turn it around."

"How exactly?"

"...Hmm... I'm not sure." Your ghost said after a short pause, trying to come up with possible solutions.

"See? We're practically on a ghost hunt here. Searching for something that probably doesn't even exist."

"...a WHAT now?"

"I mean...ghost hunt as in...invisible dead people, not, y'know...Ghost ghost."

"How can I be sure you're not trying to get me eaten again?"

"How exactly would that be beneficial to me?"

"You tell me, I'm the victim here!" He whined.

"You sure are, buddy."

The wound on your palm had scarred already, still causing mild discomfort when handling your weapons, but the pain wasn't anywhere nearly as bad as it was a day ago, thanks to your natural recovery abilities as a guardian. After you were done tidying up your weapon, you took a while longer tending to the cut, washing it clean and changing the bandages before putting your gloves back on.

"Alright, that's d-" Out of nowhere, you felt a strong gust of wind moving past you, knocking the air out of your lungs; the presence you felt earlier finally made its first move, and you weren't having any of it. This past day has felt like a mind game, reading each other's moves and waiting for the next step, but you knew, who- or whatever was behind this wasn't gonna let you off the hook easy; it was after your light. You grabbed your ghost, sprinting straight after the enemy-- you planned to stop it before it could regroup with its allies and overpower you, and the plan seemed exceptional to you at that moment, but after realizing it was actually trying to lure you somewhere, you started to feel uneasy about walking straight into a trap.

"Guardian?" Your ghost asked, sounding concerned.

"It fled into the pyramid."

"Do you plan on going after it? It's a terrible idea, who even knows what's in there?"

"Guess we're about to find out. I'm going in."

"Did you really think this through, guardian? Because I think-"

"Yep. Look, it's our only lead, and frankly, I'd rather walk into a trap, than sit around on my ass waiting for nothing for the rest of my life."

"Then brace yourself. Whatever this place is, it seems to be jamming our signals; there's no communication, in or out."

"Let's just hope we won't need communication then."

The inside of the pyramid was more vast and empty than you had previously anticipated; the closer you got to the end of the tunnel, the further it seemed, as if it was being stretched endlessly into infinity. Needless to say, it was unlike anything you've ever seen, but that wasn't a good enough reason to let your guard down-- in reality, it felt like you've already walked right into the trap, you just couldn't quite wrap your head around that terrible feeling in your gut, all your senses screaming at you to turn back. There were no enemies in sight, there was nothing that even remotely resembled any source of danger, yet there you stood, barely managing to catch your breath from the sense of dread you felt so immobilized by.

You took a deep breath, then walked a step forward, then another careful, but certain step; whatever came next, you were going to face it without a single doubt in your heart. You trusted your Ghost, and you trusted yourself, as well as the purpose of your mission. Whatever the outcome would be, you were more than ready to accept it as your fate, you were in complete harmony with yourself-- the most important skill of a true nightstalker, to know yourself, know your limits, your weaknesses, strengths, and accept them as part of you. However stranger a new crisis might be, the only constant variable is you- make use of it, turn it into your advantage. The more at peace you were with yourself, the closer you got to a certain equilibrium; your breath's one with the wind, you're one with the ground below your feet and the air surrounding you, becoming completely invisible, hidden from prying eyes. That's what it meant to be a nightstalker...or at least that's what you learned from your late mentor, perhaps the wisest words you've ever heard anyone utter.

You stepped through the endless static in front of you, a gentle humming sound in your ears, the air growing thinner and heavier with each weary breath, your eyes blinded by an incredibly bright light, and suddenly...

 

Suddenly it felt like you've already been here once before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destiny barely gave us any nightstalker lore so I'm taking it on my shoulder to try and write some smh


End file.
